5.21.2012

Race Envy

This was the first weekend that I felt like I was missing out because of pregnancy.  I knew 4 people who raced Ironman Texas, 3 in the Berryman 50, at least 1 in the 50i50 triathlon (that I was also signed up for) and several people in shorter races.

It didn't help that we cleaned and organized the garage this weekend.  I had to clean, sort and move all of my sports gear: yoga mat, climbing gear, mountain bike, etc.  The yoga mat I will still be able to use but it's going to be a while before I put my harness back on or get any fresh dirt on my mountain bike. 

I know the trade off is worth it.  I know that.  But the idea of a kid is still somewhat abstract, given that I don't really look or feel pregnant, and the list of forbidden food, drink, and activities is very tangible.  So much of my personal identity in the last 4 years has been tied up in training and racing, I think it's natural I feel a little lost without it.  I guess I hadn't really realized how much I really love training and racing.

On the upside, I also realized this weekend that no matter how late I stay up (which still isn't very late) I'm never hung over in the morning.  As John lay moaning in bed on Sunday, I got up and read a book and enjoyed my breakfast, headache-free.  See, there are upsides as well. :)

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