Lost my Mojo

NOLA is now four weeks from Sunday.  I feel like I'm on an emotional see-saw when it comes to evaluating my training and progress.  I know what my training log says, but I still feel like I'm falling below my mark.  On top of that, I feel like I've been tired since January.  I'll have a decent run only to be followed by a miserable ride.  Or a great swim and then have legs made of bricks during my next interval run.  One day I think I'm right on track and the next day I doubt I'll even be able to PR.  And don't tell me I need to rest.  I have taken extra rest days periodically to try to recover.  I'm doing yoga.  I'm going to accupuncture.  I'm still tired.  I decided to take off tomorrow afternoon to get some extra sleep.

The worst part: I think I lost my biking mojo.  The bike has always been my strong suit.  I'm no uber-biker, but I aspire to be.  I've always placed in the top 25% or better in my AG during races, no matter the distance or course.  Even undertrained on a more difficult course than I'm used to, I was able to average 18.1 mph at Boise, in the rain.  Last weekend, I rode 30 miles around a lake on a hilly course I'm familiar with and I average 16.6 mph.  I don't want to knock anyone, but for me, that is an embarassing pace.  Sure it was windy and I've been inside all winter, but that is no excuse.  I was crushed when I reviewed my workout later.

I don't know what to do.  The bike is my strong suit, where I feel the most comfortable.  I hit 19.7 mph for an average in my last sprint.  I really thought this was the season I'd average over 20 mph in a race.  Now I'm doubting my training.  Can I even average 18 mph at NOLA?  I don't know.  Did I really slack that much during Spinervals?  It sure didn't feel like it.  Have I put on weight?  I avoid the scale as a general rule but my clothes all fit.  What should I do?  Train harder or get more rest?

From a rational stand point, I know I was battling 25 mph winds on a hilly route in the rain and I had a tough run the day before.  I know I have a better biking base than where I was last year before Boise.  But the irrational woman in me is saying that I'm not doing enough and there is no way I'm reaching my goals this year.  She's saying I should just put streamers on my handle bars and playing cards in my tires.  She's telling me that I'm crazy for even thinking I may slightly have a shot at ever qualifying for Clearwater.  Can someone please tell her to shut up??


Christi said...

Please tell your evil twin to shut the H up! Things will come together during the race and that is when it matters most. You have done the training!

Josh Snellink said...

Don't let those thoughts get you down! In any case, I think streamers off your handlebars would be awesome!

If I ever decide to take a stab at a triathlon, I'm definitely going to need some streamers. And a big 'ole bike bell for passing people! Sounds like fun :D

Samantha said...

Evil twin....SHUT IT!

Sam, I know you and I know come NOLA you will give it your all! We all have off training days, but I HAVE NO DOUBT in your ability and your toughness. You will be great come race day, you will dig in and do your very best and best of all no matter what you'll have fun.

Give yourself a break, and take your "super cape" off for a ride or two.....when you need it, it will be right there waiting for you and you'll kick some arse!!

Believe in & trust in yourself.....I know we all do!! ;)

Samantha said...

Oh and.....crazy evil twin...WATCH IT or I'll send the killer tumbleweed your way or smoother you with a pillow. :p :p