Operation Jaybird - Mission Accomplished

*WARNING* You may not want to read this at work. Partially nude photos to follow.

And now, for the run report you've all been waiting for - Operation Jaybird 2010! Last Friday we picked an undisclosed park and ran 3.5 miles in nothing but socks and shoes. Me and 4 of my most naked friends met for a few pre-run drinks and the girls surprised me with t-shirts for organizing this crazy run! They are easily my new favorite "race" shirt.

The weather was a little humid but perfect. First, to answer the questions that most people have: 1) There was no chaffing. Actually, I almost think there was less chance for chaffing than in running clothes. 2) There was some bouncing, but not too bad and the 3.5 miles was fine. We weren't moving very fast due to the mud, so that may have helped. Logistically, everything was fine. And I have to give major props to one girl who did this while pregnant! What a story for the little one!

We showed up to the park and everyone wanted a picture as proof of our silly endeavor. So the camera (and tripod) came out and a spontaneous naked photo shoot ensued! This was not planned, and I'm pretty sure it couldn't be duplicated. Obviously I'm not going to post everything, but here's a few. Everyone was nervous at first, but when everyone around you is naked and giggling, you eventually drop you inhibitions and just have fun. Oh yeah, we're hot.

We had a close call with one car, but luckily they drove past without pulling into the parking lot we were at. We took that as a sign to get on the trail and get moving. So we packed up the tripod, hopped a barrier and started running. Clearly this was a night we had no intentions on following the rules. One of the other girls forgot her light, so I gave her mine. So I was completely naked running in the dark. It was surreal.

For the most part, the woods were completely dark. All the trees have leafed out and the moon was only half full, so not much light made it to the forest floor. We were moving slow but steady, laughing and giggling most of the way. We made it a mile or so and came out into a clearing. The grass all around us was about waist high, with lightning bugs hovering above the tips. We were surround by trees on all sides and the moon and stars above were clear and bright. It was nothing short of breathtaking.

The miles went fast. That happens when you're having a good run with better company. We all decided that this was way more fun than we had anticipated and it should become a yearly event. After running through the woods completely naked, there is no doubt in my mind that humans were born to run. There is something so primal and natural about it.

I think naked running is something every runner should experience. If you're ever in a private spot, preferably at night, drop your drawers and take off. Take pride in your hide.

Operation Jaybird (AKA Super Secret Naked Night Run)

The team has been assembled. The date has been set. The rendezvous site has been chosen. The official time will be sent via text message, after which it will self-destruct. Unfortunately for you, those details are released on a need-to-know basis and if you don't already know, you don't need to. If any unauthorized people show up at the start of the operation, the information-leaking offender will be duct-taped naked to a tree and left to fend for herself. This is serious, people.

There are risks involved, including (but not limited to): poison ivy, insect bites, abrasions, chaffing, bouncing, public indecency, and blinding (my tush hasn't seen sunlight in, well, I couldn't even tell you). Team members are responsible for where they aim their flashlights.

I personally have assembled some of the best naked runners around. The main qualification for finding good naked runners is: they want to run naked.

For those participating in Operation (Naked as a) Jaybird, be prepared. For those who aren't, pay attention. You just might catch a glimpse of several streaking ladies sometime in the near future.

Bucket List

The idea of the Naked Run is alive and well. I even have a few tentative dates picked out. If you get Trail Runner Magazine, you know that running naked is one of the things in an article about a Bucket List for trail runners that was published several months ago. I've had a few conversations with friends recently about Bucket Lists, some before I die, some before I turn 30. Either way, it inspired me to put together an athletic Bucket List and also put together a list a things that I have done, purposefully or not.

Some of the things will be easy to accomplish and some may be pipe dreams, but either way they make the list. I hope to keep this list and update it every year. If nothing else, it will keep me motivated to try new things and continue to get outside my comfort zone. So, here it is:

Sam's Bucket List 2010

• Run naked!
• Race in Vibrams
• Sprint triathlon barefoot (shoes on the bike, of course)
• Average 20+mph in a 70.3 race
• Qualify for Clearwater (Yikes! It's in print!)
• Ironman distance race
• Pace/crew for a friend in a 100 mi race
• Adventure race
• Run a marathon (seems a little silly, but oh well)
• Climb barefoot
• Get certified in lead-climbing
• On-site a V4 problem
• Learn to snowboard
• Learn to surf
• Snowshoe
• Scuba dive somewhere warm
• Polar plunge somewhere cold

As I was compiling this list, I realized a lot of these are built off of other goals I already achieved. So here are some of the things I achieved on purpose:

• Triathlons up to 70.3 distance
• 3rd place AG in a sprint
• Ultra marathons up to 50 mi (but no marathon)
• Century ride
• Belay certified for climbing
• Finished a V4, on-sited a V3
• Outdoor bouldering (climbing w/out a harness, less than 25 feet)
• Wake boarding, water skiing, snow skiing
• Open water kayaking (with alligators, no less)
• Canoe racing (concrete canoe and regular, won most races)

And here are some things I did but not quite on purpose:

• Dumped a canoe in the Missippi in February
• Lost my bottoms wake boarding (tie-on suits are not a good choice)
• Crashed a 4-wheeler (the 4-wheeler won)
• Hit in the chest by a golf ball on the fly (no wonder there are no golf-related goals)

This year, I'm hoping to knock a few of those things off my list. Yes, I think the naked running will be the first one achieved. For each goal I accomplish, I plan to add one more to the list. I don't think the point of a bucket list is to ever finish it. I think the point is to always have a list. But I don't see naked bike riding in my future. :)