Lump (in my throat)

I just came home from a much-needed 2500m swim. A few days ago, John made the comment "You have to swim 1.2 miles next month" which prompted my hands to shake, my head to pound, and panic to swell up in my throat. I'm not prone to panic attacks (I can't say that I've ever had one) so that should indicate how nervous I am about my training. Tonight's swim helped to shrink the lump of panic down to a size I can at least swallow. While it was obvious that I haven't been swimming consistently, my cardio fitness is great. At a HR of 140 and with controlled breathing, I feel like I could go on for hours. Then again, last week I did.

My training has been far from perfect. At Free State last week, Bad Ben and I were talking about being over-raced and under-trained, which is something most recreational athletes can relate to. Last night I realized I am in need of some tempo runs or speed work. I ran with the Nerds at SMP. I tried in vain to keep up with Caleb for the first few miles, but in typical fashion, I was dropped before Mile 2. That was the highest my HR has been in a long time, and while it was awesome to be moving FAST again, it reminded me I don't move fast that often. I ran with Shelly and we average just under 10 min miles, which is a decent time on the trails but by no means a tempo run.

So that brings me to a harsh reality: I am no where close to where I thought I would be for Boise. My cardio endurance is good, so I'm hoping on can rack up meters and miles without breaking down. I know I can add bike miles quickly, which is why I'm not worried about the bike, but I have abandoned all time goals. I will once again be racing to finish.

Here's what I think I need to do over the course of the next 6 weeks so I don't have to be helped off the course in Boise:

Swimming: Tuesday nights will be my weekday swim and I'll shoot for Sunday afternoons, too. 2500-3000m per workout.

Biking: Short bricks on Monday and Wednesday, long ride on Sunday. No point in riding without a little run afterwards. Heavy on the hills but I'm still in need of a 50 mile ride. I'm not interested in 12 laps around SMP.

Running: Thursday night trails will have to be my tempo run. If you're coming out Thursdays, be ready for a good run. OK, so not Caleb-speed, but fast-Sam-speed. Long runs on Saturdays with John, typically 10 or 20 miles.

Swimming seems to have the same effect on me as yoga. Afterwards, I feel calm and relaxed and better able to focus. Since I am in that relaxed state, I can admit I've have been overwhelmed lately and I feel like I have been struggling. I dropped all of the races off my calendar between now and Boise and I haven't signed up for a single thing afterwards. Over-raced, under-trained, over-worked, and under-rested. I need just one thing to focus on instead of dozens and I'm hoping clearing my schedule will renew my energy. I'm still learning to balance here in the real world. The problem is that once I find a comfortable spot to lean against, the world keeps shifting.